Seagulls glide over the colonial rooftops of this small town in Dumport, California. What was once a quiet “fishing” community has now erupted in controversy after the election of Mayor Alan Steele.

“I ran on a platform of creating more commercial fishing jobs and supporting the local tuna cannery businesses,” said a smirking Steele. “I had no idea they’d actually elect me. Considering this town is a 100 miles from any water, I wish I’d promised more!”

The problem, say local voters, was Mayor Steele’s excessive use of sarcasm in his campaign messages. Although the abuse of ambiguity and puzzling nuance is not new to political campaigns, Mayor Alan Steele’s in-your-face rhetoric was particularly deceiving and effective.

“He was always smiling in his public appearances,” said an angry Norma Lee at an impromptu town meeting. “We didn’t know he was laughing at us. We just thought he was jovial and mildly appealing…and enjoyed blowing liquids threw his nose at Q & A sessions.”

The situation began 10 years ago when a real estate consultant convinced the entire community to adopt a colonial village theme to increase tourism. The initial hope of adding to the public coffers was never realized and made Dumport the punch-line of late night television for months afterward. The entire town checked it off as a failed experiment and vowed to rebuild their reputation as a quaint fishing village, despite the lack of water and fish.

“We didn’t realize until much later why everyone was laughing at us,” said Ed Clamor, a local who grew up in the town and owns the area’s only bait shop. “Evidently, we weren’t one of the original 13 colonies like that guy said,” Ed added. “He smiled and blew liquids threw his nose, too.”

According to Dr. Michael Row, the reason for the continued lack of discernment among the town’s people is “irony deficiency.’ “It’s a rare disorder that normally afflicts isolated populations like homeless people or university professors. It leads to an endless spiral of inflated importance and paranoiac guilt. Many of those diagnosed with “irony deficiency” don’t seek treatment until their bank account is empty or they get tired of being sprayed with nasal discharge.”

When asked why this particular town was affected, Dr Row mentioned it’s proximity to Los Angeles and the unusually high presence of working actors and Prius owners. “Little is known about the effects of sustained vicarious empathy that most of these people are known for. I do know that believing you’re a colonial fishing village in the middle of the desert isn’t healthy. It’s just an open invitation to any charlatan looking for an easy mark.”

When confronted with Dr. Row’s analysis of the current situation, Milo Barrymore, owner of the Dumport Scuba Emporium, mentioned that he “hadn’t heard from Mark” since he bought the business from him but “hoped he was doing well.”